HARRISONBURG, VA

The brand new pastor at North Harrisonburg Mennonite Church has taken the bold step of completely dismantling the entire Sunday school program, citing the high cost of flannelgraph boards, dry macaroni, and nontoxic glue.

“After a thorough investigation, we found that the costs were just out of control,” said Pastor Diana. “We can no longer afford to compensate our teachers with a free hot dog lunch after a year’s worth of work.”

The flannelgraph boards, complete with figures representing Jesus and each one of the twelve disciples, will be auctioned off this Saturday afternoon.

“And if we can’t find a seller, we’ll just donate them to the Baptists,” said Pastor Diana. “The cost of maintenance alone was enough to break our budget.”

Children will be expected to educate

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