CHARLOTTE, NC - The excitement was palpable at the Republican National Convention Monday night as Trump addressed the crowd, reaching a fever pitch as the president revealed that everyone had a "special surprise" waiting for them under their seats.

"But wait -- there's more," said Trump as he wrapped up his speech. The crowd waited with bated breath. "If you'll all reach under your seats right now, you'll find your very own MyPillow and a can of Goya beans, absolutely free!"

The crowd screamed in delight and scrambled to get their free stuff. Several fights and scuffles broke out over who got which kind of beans, with many Republicans looking to trade away their black beans for the more preferable white ones. One man pulled out his AR-15 and fired it into the air several times to ward ot

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