WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of a whistleblower's claim that he approved the leaking of classified information in an attempt to take down President Donald Trump, Senator Adam Schiff expressed worry that his legal troubles would make it hard for him to afford his upcoming head reduction surgery.
Schiff, who is also embroiled in a scandal stemming from allegations that he committed mortgage fraud, reportedly told those close to him that these ongoing controversies could pose a significant roadblock in his effort to have his freakishly large head surgically reduced.
"What am I going to do about my giant watermelon head now?" he asked one staff member in his office. "I already have my head reduction surgery scheduled, but Trump and his cronies are turning up the heat on me. I'm up to my ne