The blood chills, then boils. Veins, bulging under pressure, creep in red tendrils onto the whites of incredulous, irate eyes.

A hand shakes as it holds a quivering phone. The news, shared in horror by The Independent , is simply too much to bear.

What? the target reader is, I think, expected to blast over their boiled eggs. Are these youths – these Gen Z reprobates – really being coached to use PHONES in SCHOOL ?!!

“Get a grip!” the headline beseeches (one must assume) the teenagers, some of whom may reportedly be getting support to prepare for the phone call part of clearing .

“What hope have they got in the real world?” the writer despairs.

It will be a relief to cardiologists nationwide, then, to find out that not only are reports of schools implementing phone call

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