MEMPHIS, TN

“The was everywhere. The was in the northbound lane. The schmaunt fat was in the southbound lane. The was pooling in all the potholes.”

This, according to the New York Times, was the result of a Friday morning roll-over on a Memphis highway. A truck transporting the precious white cream gravy from Winnipeg, Manitoba to Swift Current Colony, Mexico suddenly veered off the road spilling the delicious sauce all over the road.

“If this had been Goessel, Kansas or Henderson, Nebraska everyone would have known what to do,” said chief schmaunt fat transport officer Mark Reimer. “But we were in the middle of Tennessee, not too far from an Olive Garden, and everyone assumed it was alfredo sauce.”

Mislabled as alfredo sauce, locals began scooping it up and dumping it on plates of fet

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