CORPUS CHRISTI, TX - A representative for the children's ministry at Grace Church of the Coastlands confirmed Tuesday that all sign-in sheets for parents dropping off their children at Sunday School will now include a column for listing a child's depravity level.

Parents are asked to list their child's name, age, any allergies, and their propensity for succumbing to the desires of the flesh.

"This should help teachers deal with a child's outbursts of sin more effectively," said children's minister Jody Larson. "If we know that your child has feet that are swift to shed blood, a throat that's an open grave, or no fear of God before their eyes, then we're better able to deal with their self-centered tantrums when the time comes."

Children who were baptized as infants are not exempt from t

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