There is shocking entertainment news out of Hollywood today.

The reality show powerhouse American Hell is now the highest-rated network across every platform. In a press conference from the White House Brady Briefing Room, producers attributed the network’s rising popularity to its virtues of fear, anger, greed, consumption, corruption and dysentery, which are favorably preached at “thousands of the right kind of churches across the country.”

While widely divisive, American Hell is popular because the ratings prove that its three reality shows have something for everybody. Laugh or cry, the programs are both highly addictive and self-destructive. The ratings winner, of course, is “King POTUS (White) Power Hour,” a moving feast of strange oddities featuring an aging actor as the president

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