WHEN I recently landed Stateside, even my most right-on friends took me aside with hushed tones to warn which bits of town are strictly out of bounds.

As a new arrival in Washington DC, I was immediately told to stay in my lane, never go to certain postcodes and never take the metro after sunset.

Quite why was never exactly spelt out, but after a teenage White House staffer was beaten up at 3am just a few streets from where I now live, it went without saying.

Edward Coristine, 19, better known by his online nickname “Big Balls”, hit global headlines after being knocked seven shades of Sunday by two fellow teens in an attempted carjacking earlier this month.

As a minor celebrity in the Trump administration, after he worked with Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency, Big Ball

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