While opening up about her past mental health struggles, Terminator star Linda Hamilton jokingly admits she was a “hot mess” for the first 40 years of her life.

During an interview with PEOPLE, Hamilton spoke about her experience with depression and bipolar disorder. She pointed out her Terminator stardom often made people think she was “invincible” even in real life.

“Nobody ever thinks that I’m going to struggle,” Hamilton explained. “[They think] I’ll be fine – ‘It’s Linda Hamilton.'”

She then admitted that it took time to establish a solid mental footing. “I have found just true balance and steadiness in my day and in my life,” the Terminator star continued. “And I also can activate all of the safeguards that I learned from 20 years of therapy.”

“If I’m having a bad day, that doesn

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