SANTA CLARITA, CA - While reluctantly attending the birthday party thrown for a young relative at Mountasia Family Fun Center Tuesday, pastor and teacher John MacArthur set an incredible new low score of zero on the arcade's popular Dance Dance Revolution machine, sources confirmed.

Witnesses reported that MacArthur was coaxed onto the machine by several children attending the party, who told him the arcade cabinet was a Bible trivia game. But as the electronic dance music began blaring out of the speakers, it was clear he had been duped by the gang of youths.

Still, MacArthur wasn't going to be outdone, and simply stared, scowling at the computer-rendered characters wildly gyrating and flailing about on the screen.

"I've never seen anything like that performance in my life," the Fun Ce

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