Dear Eric: My sister-in-law is ill and not expected to live much longer. My brother has already commented that he is looking forward to traveling with my wife and me after she passes since we have common interests (think golfing vacations) and all get along well.

The problem is he isn’t comfortable with silence, and he always has to be productive. These traits are not exactly relaxing to be around. How do I respond when he inevitably asks if he can join us on a golfing vacation?

—Wants to Be Kind

Dear Kind: Proactivity is going to be your friend here. Just as you’d be proactive about planning the logistical details of your vacation—hotel, golf courses, flights, et cetera—you can be proactive about planning the vibe. This way, you don’t have to wait for him to ask to join you. You can le

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