ABBOTSFORD, BC

Days after the 3-D printing of Mennonite recipes was legalized by the Supreme Court, Mr. Klassen of Abbotsford successfully printed every single recipe in the Mennonite Treasury Cookbook and promptly divorced his wife of 20 years saying he “didn’t need her services anymore.”

“This 3-D printer is a miracle worker. You just type in a few numbers and out comes the zwieback!” said Klassen. “Sure, the schmuant fat tastes a little off, but it’s worth it for the independence it brings.”

After his divorce, Klassen said he planned to live in a basement suite in Clearbrook for the rest of his life, surrounded by his collection of Sears catalogues from the 1980s and Star Wars figurines that were still in their original packaging. He also plans to be surrounded by his own filth and l

See Full Page