"Lazy, good for nothing kids!" That's a phrase you hear a lot these days -- especially if you're around me, because I say it a lot. The economy is in the toilet, we got a so-called "pandemic," and riots are everywhere, and what are kids up to? They're on their tik toks and on their scooters and fiddling with the stock market -- doing no good for no one! Well, I have a solution for everything -- even better than wearing hats.

Two words: child labor.

Now let's clear up some misconceptions here. What I am talking about is hard, back-breaking, and preferably dangerous (to help get the whines out of them) labor for small children. That's what will get the country and this economy going again. And you don't need no exorbitant $15 minimum wage for no kids. You can pay them a dime and they'll be

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