The Maryland home of former National Security Advisor John Bolton was raided by government agents today, leaving the public wondering what the FBI was looking for — and what they found.

Utilizing an intricate network of media and government sources, The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of surprising things the FBI discovered at John Bolton's home:

Melania Trump's underwear: At least agents hope those belonged to a woman.

"Start 9 wars and your 10th one is free" punch card: Bolton reportedly only needs 2 more punches.

Epstein's client list: So that's where it's been this whole time.

Fish. Lots of fish.: The man has a healthy appetite.

Donald Trump voodoo doll: Sources said there was evidence of over 500 needle pokes.

A notebook with "John Bolton + Vladimir Putin" wr

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