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In America today, a dangerous mindset is spreading : if you feel wronged, you get to make your own rules. That is how we have reached the point where some people hail a man accused of murder as a hero, simply because his violence was fueled by a grievance.

The case of Luigi Mangione , accused of killing United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson in the name of a grievance, is a chilling example. It is the kind of headline that grabs attention, but the thinking behind it is not confined to extreme cases.

In my two decades as a psychotherapist in New York City and Washington, D.C., I have seen the same logic at work in quieter, everyday forms. Whether the act is violent or seemingly small, the script is the same: I have been wr

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