WASHINGTON, D.C. — Nursing a vicious hangover, Vice President Kamala Harris began to get a sinking feeling as she pulled out her phone to see if she had made any drunk posts last night.

After spending a few minutes fumbling around for ibuprofen, Harris became suspicious upon seeing several thousand text messages asking if she was okay.

"Oh man, what did I say," wondered Harris, frantically flipping through her feed. "Ten thousand messages asking if I'm okay... that is a bit above average. Not good, Kamala. I kind of remember being on a Zoom call? Crap, what did I say??"

Wrapping her head in a pillow to soften the pain, Harris tried to play it cool by nonchalantly asking aides about last night. "Whew, crazy night, right Andrea? Can you believe what I did?" asked Kamala. "When I did, you

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