WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump delighted the nation this week, unveiling plans for a giant cannon that he hopes will facilitate faster, more entertaining deportations.

"We've got to make our country safe again, and the best way to do that is with a giant cannon capable of firing them out of the country," said Trump. "I want a circus one. Just tremendous what those circus freaks can do. Can you believe they have a man who tames lions? I told them there's no way you can tame a lion, but he did it. Anyway, cannons. We're gonna have so many of them."

Sources say the crowd cheered wildly at the announcement.

Officials are currently testing an advanced cannon prototype in the nation's capital, using criminals picked up during nightly D.C. patrols as ammunition. If all goes according to pl

See Full Page