Taylor Swift was designated as the face of the "childless cat lady." She was berated for being too boy crazy in her teens, then for being too single in her 30s. Now, she’s living an all-American life – a superstar soon to be married to Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce.

The duo announced their engagement in a joint post on Instagram on Tuesday, Aug. 26. While there's no word on when the wedding will take place, well-wishes immediately started pouring in from the world of music, sports and more for the mega-famous couple.

But for the better half of Swift’s career, she was deemed "boy crazy." Critics warned men that if they dated her, she’d write a vengeful track about them after their breakup. In a famous 2009 interview with Hoda Kotb, Swift said, "If guys don't want me to write bad songs about them, they shouldn't do bad things."

She was also caught up in the 2024 "childless cat lady" debacle.

In July 2024, Vice President JD Vance ignited uproar after saying the government was run by "a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they've made and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable too." In September, Swift endorsed Kamala Harris on Instagram by posting a photo with her cat, signing off as a fellow "childless cat lady."

Taylor and Travis’ love story shows that everyone finds "the one" at their own pace. Relationship and gender studies experts say it teaches important lessons about love, patience and honoring your own timelines – while also proving that the "childless cat lady" stereotype lacks merit.

"The 'childless cat lady' stereotype has foundations in thinking that women's worth comes from their marriageability. Taylor's success has broken the mold of what women were thought capable of," says Kimberly Vered Shashoua, LCSW, therapist for teens and young adults at Vered Counseling. While Shashouda says the stereotype was always false, Swift’s engagement also proves its irrelevancy.

"While there are jokes about the 'childless cat lady' stereotypes, the truth is, single people who don't settle may be demonstrating they have the mental strength they need to enjoy their own company," adds psychotherapist Amy Morin. "They're showing that they're comfortable waiting until they meet someone who they like just as much as they like themselves."

Healthy relationships are not forced or rushed

In the early stages of her career, Swift was dubbed by Hollywood as a "serial dater." The media slammed her too-truthful breakup albums or judged her for jumping from one boyfriend to the next.

"I really didn't like the whole serial-dater thing," Taylor told Esquire in 2014. "I thought it was a really sexist angle on my life. And so I just stopped dating people, because it meant a lot to me to set the record straight – that I do not need some guy around in order to get inspiration, in order to make a great record, in order to live my life, in order to feel okay about myself. And I wanted to show my fans the same thing."

In 2013, Swift told Wonderland magazine she could be single forever.

"I have no idea if I'm going to get married or be single forever or have a family or just be on my own," she said. "[I could] paint in a cottage by the ocean by myself!"

Either way, she couldn’t win. Rather than being pestered about her relationships, she would often be asked, "Why?"

Morin says women often experience shame for their relationship status, but this shouldn’t be the case.

"The divorce rate is high because many people felt pressure to marry the person they were dating even if they saw some red flags," she says. "It's important to give people the time and space they need to create the best lives for themselves."

When people aren’t comfortable in their own skin or are scared to be alone, they often "jump into a relationship," even if the timing or chemistry isn’t right. Finding the right person to love requires patience. Morin explains, "Healthy relationships require commitment, chemistry and compatibility. You can't rush or force those things. And if we pressure people to do so, they may jump into situations they later regret."

Is Taylor Swift’s engagement the end of the 'childless cat lady'?

Swift’s engagement "isn’t proof that the 'cat lady' stereotype is over, it’s proof it never should’ve existed," says psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis.

Swift is still childless – and, of course, a proud cat mom. But the messaging goes beyond conversations around motherhood, it’s an insult rooted in sexism and heterosexism, according to Leora Tanenbaum, author of "Sexy Selfie Nation: Standing Up for Yourself in Today’s Toxic, Sexist Culture."

"The insult says, 'You are physically unattractive, or a workaholic, which makes you a deviant person; no wonder you have a pet cat, because that’s the only one who loves you,'" Tanenbaum explains. "It goes without saying that this is absurd, sexist, homophobic and bears no relation to reality."

Swift’s engagement is proof that even "childless cat ladies" can eventually have it all: marriage, success, and a family if they wish to. But Swift was already in a loving, healthy relationship with Kelce in 2024, and their marital status doesn’t change that.

The term goes beyond just marital status, and Tanenbaum warns that Swift’s engagement probably won’t be enough to shift the larger tide.

"That’s not going to happen as long as men continue to feel threatened by women who get along great without them," Tanenbaum says.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are engaged. Is the 'childless cat lady' trope over?

Reporting by Alyssa Goldberg, USA TODAY / USA TODAY

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