Whether you learned from a push notification, frantic all-caps group-chat messages, or shrieks in your office, I’m sure you know by now that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are engaged . After two years of dating, the couple announced their engagement on Tuesday with a collaborative Instagram post, which might actually be more serious than the giant diamond on her ring finger.

If you are a normie, you might have seen this news and gone, “Good for them!” What a privilege it is to have such an uncluttered brain. The Swifties (myself included) are treating this as an all-hands-on-deck situation. Some people broke out into tears, while others got to work trying to figure out the numerology behind Swift’s post. It is a good time to check on that friend of yours who went to multiple Eras T

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