Brought to you by:

Pfizer wanted to withhold vaccine data until 2096 but some annoying judge told them to release it now. The Babylon Bee has combed through hundreds of pages of documents to find data that backs up our already preconceived conclusions.

Here are ten scary side effects we discovered:

1) Covid: Hey, wait a second!

2) 23% increase in attractiveness to feminist SJWs on Tinder: "OOoo, you're VAXXED?"

3) Able to decipher Biden's coded speech: Get the vax to find out for yourself!

4) Your myocarditis can now get myocarditis: Not sure how that's possible but we'll trust the science on this one.

5) Your Windows PC will now install updates automatically without asking you: Hmmmmm...

6) A digital imprint on your hand and forehead that allows you to buy and sell: Conven

See Full Page