With a new history of slavery and the slave trade in the Islamic world just published, I am under strict instructions not to make any fatwa-related jokes. The Holy Trinity, if I can mix my faith metaphors for a moment, of publisher, agent and wife have advised me strongly against it. ‘No jokes about fatwas, please,’ were my wife’s exact words ahead of an appearance at Chalke History Festival. ‘No one finds them funny.’ I disagree. They can be extremely funny. But on balance it may be wisest to err on the side of caution.

After three weeks in the curiously bland Nigerian capital of Abuja, much of it holed up in my hotel putting together the latest issue of the Bristol Owners’ Club Bulletin , a scintillating car magazine celebrating this great British marque, a dash to Istanbul. With the

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