Normally, a 79-year-old man having a bruise on his hand wouldn’t be much of a story. But that changes when the septuagenarian in question is Donald Trump .

Trump’s injury was first spotted weeks after the 2024 election, which he won in part by bullying Joe Biden for his decrepitude while pretending he himself possessed almost superhuman health and mental acuity . For months, the White House dismissed Trump’s bruising as one of those hand-shaking injuries you’re always hearing about. Then when Trump’s terrible hand makeup and swollen ankles raised too many questions, the administration admitted he has a condition known as chronic venous insufficiency .

Yet questions about Trump’s health, and his bizarrely terrible attempts to conceal his physical issues, have persisted. Her

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