The Water We Swim In: Why Being Seen Matters More Than You Think

Key points

From the moment we are born, we seek acknowledgment from caregivers as a matter of survival.

Repeated experiences of acknowledgment—or its absence—form memory scripts that shape health and relationships.

Vulnerability to depression and anxiety often stems from expecting not to be acknowledged or supported.

At its best, therapy restores the belief that our pain will be acknowledged rather than overlooked.

In David Foster Wallace’s thought-provoking parable, two young fish are swimming along when an older fish passes by and says, “Morning, boys. How’s the water?” The two young fish keep swimming. After a while, one turns to the other and asks, “What the hell is water?”

The point of the parable is simple but profound: It’s easy to overlook the elements that hold our world tog