U.S. — Psalty the Singing Songbook is now the final contemporary Christian artist from the 199os who has absolutely zero scandals to his name.

As news broke last week of yet another scandal involving a famed '90s Christian artist, the nation took solace in the fact that, after all this time, it still had Psalty.

"When all the houses of sand are washed away, there stands Psalty on the solid rock," said local man Ross Timpson. "Every other artist I loved has betrayed my trust... but not Psalty. At the end of the day, I can always count on that enormous blue-and-yellow anthropomorphic songbook."

In addition to leading a God-honoring life, Psalty is still renowned for delivering catchy melodies that were theologically rich. "They don't make 'em like Psalty anymore," said local man Kevin Gos

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