Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My sister-in-law, “Ruby,” recently made a drunken confession after we’d had a bit too much wine about her 3-year-old son.

She told me that my brother-in-law isn’t her son’s father—his best friend is; it was a one-time fling, apparently. Once Ruby sobered up, she begged me not to say anything to her husband, and I reluctantly agreed.

My BIL has been raising “Brandon” as his own and has no idea. I’ve always wondered why Brandon didn’t quite look like his parents, and now I know why. I think what Ruby did was terrible, but at the same time, I don’t want to upset what is a very loving relationship between Brandon and my BIL. Does my BIL deserve the tr

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