EDMONTON, AB

In an effort to attract new visitors to the formerly-largest mall in the world, the West Edmonton Mall hotel has renovated ten of its famous theme rooms to have a Mennonite motif.

“I’ll admit the accommodations are–how should I say it?–rather spartan. But that’s part of the appeal,” explained the hotel manager. “Basically we’ve decked out the place to look and smell like a housebarn.”

Each Mennonite theme room comes stocked with your very own milking cow and a complimentary breakfast of cracklings on toast. Upon request, every guest will also receive a free scolding each morning from a hotel employee dressed like Oma Friesen.

“Guests are then offered an opportunity to slowly saunter past the famous roller-coaster in a horse and buggy,” said the manager. “We’re really hopin

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