Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett said that her part in rolling back abortion rights with her vote to overturn Roe v. Wade “came at a cost” and was an uncomfortable subject matter when off the bench, according to her new memoir obtained by CNN.

“Dobbs did not top the list of things I wanted to talk about on vacation,” Barrett reportedly wrote in her memoir, according to a CNN report published Tuesday.

Appointed by Trump in 2020, Barrett joined the majority 5-4 decision of the Supreme Court to overturn the precedent set by Roe v. Wade, which guaranteed a woman’s right to abortion access through at least the first trimester, and in many cases, through the second trimester.

Barrett was pressed on the matter during her confirmation hearings, and declined to outright say whether she would support overruling Roe v. Wade, though did say she would not allow herself to be swayed by her own personal beliefs.

Now, Barrett is opening up about her vote, calling the subject matter a “complicated moral debate” that came up even when on family trips.

“After the Dobbs ruling was issued in June 2022 and Barrett was on a family vacation, a brother-in-law arrived with a copy of the decision, saying he was following the justice’s mantra to ‘read the opinion,’ wrote CNN reporter Joan Biskupic, who reviewed a copy of Barrett’s memoir. “Still, she says, she hugged him.”

Barrett also opened up about other moral dilemmas she’s faced on the bench, particularly on matters related to the death penalty, which she’s stated she’s personally opposed to.

“For me, death penalty cases drive home the collision between the law and my personal beliefs,” Barrett wrote. “Swearing to apply the law faithfully means deciding each case based on my best judgment about what the law is. If I decide a case based on my judgment about what the law should be, I’m cheating.”

Ultimately, Barrett would still go on to defend her vote in overturning Roe v. Wade, arguing that even among Americans, the right to abortion access was not viewed as a fundamental right inscribed in the U.S. Constitution.

“The evidence does not show that the American people have traditionally considered the right to obtain an abortion so fundamental to liberty that it ‘goes without saying’ in the Constitution,” she wrote. “In fact, the evidence cuts in the opposite direction. Abortion not only lacked long-standing protection in American law – it had long been forbidden.”