WASHINGTON, D.C. — Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was confirmed Thursday as the next Secretary of Health and Human Services with a 52-48 vote in the Senate and now Democrats are in a panic, with many rushing off to chug as much seed oil as they can before he takes over.

"RFK Jr.'s tyranny cannot stop us," said Senator Bernie Sanders as he downed an entire bottle of corn oil. "We will drink as much highly processed seed oil as we want! This is America!"

Senator Elizabeth Warren, who vehemently opposed RFK Jr. during his confirmation hearing, was seen sobbing uncontrollably in the Capitol Rotunda, crouched in a fetal position and clutching a bottle of canola oil.

RFK Jr. has repeatedly argued seed oils are poisoning Americans and now he's in a position to do something about it. But that hasn't sto

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