U.S. — Theologians from seminaries across the country have united in agreement that holy Scripture is 72% more powerful if read in an awesome foreign accent.

"The sacredness of the Biblical text receives an instant boost when you switch the reader from American to South African" said seminary professor Dr. John Laney. "Praise bands have been taking advantage of this phenomenon for decades."

Christians have long suspected the power of Scripture could be enhanced by a cool accent, ever since Michael W. Smith had an Australian guy read a Psalm for the "Let It Rain" instrumental bridge. "The effect is truly astounding," said seminarian Clay Markham. "You can take the most mundane Proverb about goats, have an Australian read it, and - BAM! Suddenly, it's super holy. We recommend every church

See Full Page