WASHINGTON, D.C. - Trump has been banned from Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Myspace, but he still has one way to reach the American people: the Presidential Alert System.

"RIGGED ELECTION! NOT GOOD! SAD!" Trump wrote in his first alert, sent automatically to every American's cellphone. This was followed by a storm of other alert messages, from "MIKE PENCE IS A TRAITOR! LOCK HIM UP!" and "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!" to "The Apprentice just is not as good since I left. Very sad to see the end of a once-great show. Sad!"

Constitutional scholars say that Trump has every right to do this and there's nothing we can do except resign ourselves to getting a message every few minutes until January 20, when Biden will take over the alert system. Since he does not know how to use anything invented afte

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