WASHINGTON, D.C. - Congresspeople from both sides of the aisle assured the nation Friday they're going to try to take advantage of the current crisis in every possible way.

Americans were worried that this crisis was going to hit hard without any push from the government to present itself as the answer to all their problems. But lawmakers reassured Americans that they're working together to look at all the challenges of our current disaster and pull all the right strings so that they come out on top.

"Rest assured, America, we're working day and night to see how we can expand our unconstitutional powers, reduce individual liberty, and personally profit from this crisis," said one Republican senator. "If there's a liberty somewhere we haven't tried to stamp out, don't worry -- we have goo

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