DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is extremely passive-aggressive.

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He refuses to speak up for basic things at his work, yet he snipes at me about every little thing at home. He constantly curses under his breath about how somebody did him wrong, but when it’s time to speak up and defend himself, he’s quiet as a mouse.

This is driving me nuts. When I recommend things for him to say or do to take better care of himself, he shrugs it off and is often mean to me.

I’m at my wit’s end. I feel like I bear the brunt of his inability to speak up for himself. What can I do?

— Passive Husband

DEAR PASSIVE HUSBAND: You need to stand up for yourself. When your husband speaks to you in an unacceptable way, tell him to stop.

In the moment, if possible, point out that he is yelling or bei

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