IF TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY

Oba, you are one lucky Mennonite. Be open to receiving whatever frozen mystery item Grandma Penner might pull out of the freezer and attempt to microwave for you. You will survive this encounter and be rewarded with riches of a vague and undetermined nature, most likely .

ARIES (March 21 – April 20):

Careful. The stars say that the elders are out to get you. They are monitoring your behaviour very closely after that embarrassing debacle at faspa last Sunday. Be especially aware of Elder Krahn. He cannot be trusted, not even to open the pickle jars.

TAURUS (April 21 – May 21):

You need to be transparent and honest with your second cousin Lina and tell her how you truly feel about her. Lina’s feelings for you are complicated, but you need to express your love

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