DENVER, CO — Authorities issued a public service announcement warning citizens to avoid smoking marijuana because it could lead to attending Colorado Rockies games.

The Colorado Rockies are currently ranked last place in NL West and have no hope. According to sources, only people "completely and utterly baked" would bother going to one of their games.

"Marijuana can be a gateway to attending Rockies games," said Police Officer Eric Plinth, who oversees the D.A.R.E. program in his department. "If you get high, you might find yourself in Coors Field, staring at the Colorado Rockies. Is that the sort of life you want?"

In collaboration with the Denver Police Department, the city government began an anti-drug initiative warning that consuming copious amounts of marijuana could lead people t

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