Key points

Rigid baby books often ignore maternal mental health and babies with special feeding needs.

When sleep plans fail, parents often internalize blame instead of questioning the method.

Maternal sleep loss is linked to postpartum mood disorders, including suicidal thoughts.

Connection-based routines can ease pressure and support both infant and maternal well-being.

When I was seven months pregnant, someone handed me a copy of Twelve Hours by Twelve Weeks , a bestselling baby sleep manual. I devoured it like scripture. Everyone had warned me that the sleep deprivation would be brutal. This book promised salvation, if I just followed the rules: stretch feedings, track ounces, ignore midnight cries. My baby would sleep through the night by three months.

I printed the feeding ch

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