My First T4T Relationship Was Affirming, But It Wasn't Enough

Ihad my first T4T crush (trans for trans, a term that originated on Craigslist in the early 2000s) when I was 11 years old, at a sleep-away camp for trans and nonbinary kids. At the same camp the following summer, I had my first T4T boyfriend. It was wholesome, the way first boyfriends usually are when you’re in seventh grade. Both of these connections were life-changing in their own ways, but it wasn’t until nearly a decade later, at 20, that I experienced another T4T connection —and this time, it was love.

Cole* and I met in New York as freshmen in our college dorm. A mutual friend introduced us in the elevator, and at first, I didn’t think much of our interaction. I didn’t know he was trans at the time—he hadn’t come out yet or transitioned. It wasn’t until the next semester, when