Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here .

Dear Prudence,

I thought “Wendy” and I would be best friends for life. We were roommates in college, shared a crappy apartment after graduation, and I was in her bridal party. When she got pregnant, I thought I was going to be an honorary aunt. I organized her baby shower, helped set up the nursery, and established a meal train after the baby was born. And then Wendy straight-up disappeared from my life—that is, until she needed something. My texts went unreturned, offers to meet up were ignored or canceled at last minute.

When the baby was 13 months old, her husband got a transfer to another city and lo and behold, suddenly Wendy was back in my life. I got boxes, helped with the packing, and supervised the movers

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