MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Target executives announced this week the most intersectional Santa decoration ever, a limbless and not-so-jolly blob of an elf.

"We are proud to unveil the first-ever Chinese, Muslim, transgender, quadruple amputee Santa doll," Target executive Nancy Jones commented to reporters. "When you look at this totally immobile Chinese elf trying to bow to Allah, well - we think you'll see the true meaning of Christmas."

The new, incredibly inclusive Santa decoration has already hit store shelves to much fanfare. "I never in a million years thought I'd see a Santa doll that so accurately represented who I am," said Muhamed Wong, the sole member of the trans Muslim Chinese quadruple amputee community. "I salute Target for finally making a holiday doll that includes people like m

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