WINNIPEG, MB

Despite a preponderance of evidence to the contrary, winter is officially over, according to the Manitoba government who picked March 1 as the “first day of spring.”

“What the heck? I’ve still got a snowbank at the end of my driveway that’s higher than the roof of my car,” said Mr. Rempel of North Kildonan. “They can call it over all they want, but I’m still wearing my parka and garbage mitts until at least the end of the month.”

The government claims the new first day of spring was picked more or less at random.

“People feel better about our long cold winters when you make up a date and tell them it’s all over,” said a government spokesperson. “Manitoba winters have a bit of a poor reputation, and it’s time we just stick our heads in a snowbank and pretend it’s not as bad

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