CHICAGO, IL — An unborn baby immediately began to panic after perceiving that outside the warm safety of her mother's womb, her mother was dancing and singing along at the latest Olivia Rodrigo concert.

"Well, this is loud and annoying," the unborn baby thought to herself at first. "I'm being jostled around here. Why does it sound so crowded out there — Wait a minute… is that "Vampire"? Oh no, oh no, oh no, I am at the Guts World Tour aren't I?"

The terror began to set in as the baby remembered she had heard through the grapevine that Olivia Rodrigo was donating some of the proceeds of her latest concert tour to the National Network of Abortion Funds.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no. Ok, just be cool, baby. Think. Think. Think. How can I get out of here alive?"

The baby thought of a way to escape

See Full Page