DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m sure you are aware that grief is one of the toughest emotions to process. I therefore believe those grieving should be given a break and allowed to grieve in the manner that best suites them.

What a horrible burden it is on the grieving to have hanging over them the responsibility of responding to condolence letters if that is not what they feel will help them process and heal.

I’m 60, and lost both my mother and my husband in recent years. Each time, the last thing I wanted to do was read other people’s ideas about my loved ones. The condolence letters sat in a stack, unopened, for over a year and were then tossed. I don’t regret it.

If it helped others process their grief by writing the letter, fine, but I shouldn’t be obligated to read it if I don’t want to. Y

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