LOS ANGELES, CA — As has become the standard operating procedure for the military branch over the last half-century, 700 members of the United States Marines found themselves being deployed to yet another third-world country that is full of hostile foreigners.

In this latest deployment to a non-English-speaking wasteland, the Marines were supremely confident that they would be able to handle the marauding hordes of foreign nationals, despite the inhospitable conditions presented by the rubble and destruction of the surroundings.

"Same thing, different day," said Sergeant Heath Parsons. "We know the drill. We train and prepare until the day when our number is called and we have to report to save the world by traveling to some third-world hell-hole to confront foreign hostiles. We're used

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