U.S. — In order to put any questions about her ethnic background to rest, Vice President Kamala Harris took a DNA test which ultimately revealed that she is almost entirely composed of vodka.

"Essentially, Harris has just a little bit of Jamaican and Indian DNA swimming around in an ocean of Tito's," explain geneticist Dr. John Stalks. "There's also just tiny bit of tonic water to round it all out."

The scientists at Johns Hopkins who ran the DNA test called the results a true medical marvel, as it was previously thought that such incredible levels of vodka were incompatible with human life. "Looking under the microscope, it's truly amazing," said researcher Jan Devers. "There's just a few scattered DNA helixes bobbing around in a sea of vodka. Her bones are literally made of Tito's on t

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