Is Effort the Truest Proof of Love or a Turnoff?

Key points

Romantic intrinsic effort often feels joyful and effortless.

Effortful people are more romantically desirable than those who possess natural talent or success.

Effort, especially as a relational trait, predicts romantic suitability and satisfaction.

Deep love supports mutual growth, not just emotional comfort.

Effort is often defined as the physical or mental exertion required to accomplish something, typically associated with difficulty, fatigue, or even boredom . How can we reconcile effort with romantic love—something we idealize as spontaneous, passionate, and fulfilling? I first explore the nature of romantic effort and then whether people prefer an effortful partner over a successful one.

The Nature of Romantic Effort

To understand romantic effort, consider these