Ididn’t realize how often I had seen a chunky piece of pizza walking across a blank road to nowhere with Mickey Mouse gloves and big ol’ boots, but once I did, I could never unsee it. Every so often, usually while scrolling through Pinterest or Instagram , a sentient object with buggy eyes and a cheeky smile under a plasticine Canva font would greet me, usually with the intention of selling me something or telling me to go somewhere where other people could sell me something. The designs create an uneasy feeling for me; it’s unclear whether they belong in a pandemic teen’s bedroom or an overpriced millennial bistro. A quick Google search (and a couple of Reddit threads ) brought me to a strange term: “ modern rubberhose ”.

If you’re like me — someone who’s not embroiled in the h

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