Dear Eric: During COVID I found out my husband was having an affair with a woman out of the country, for nine years! I had a mental breakdown, and it took me a long time to recover. No one noticed because of the social restrictions of the pandemic. I agreed to “putting her in the friend category” while deeply distressed.
He said he wanted to reconcile, and we both went to individual counseling. My spouse stopped seeing the affair partner and continued to text but send money on a regular basis. He says he has a responsibility to her. There are no children or family ties; this was very secret.
We are now both retired and I have asked him to stop sending our retirement money to his affair partner. He keeps saying this will change when his feelings change and that I am going back on a promis