We were just kids, and the shiny flues of the pipe-organ in the chapel, especially the highest notes, were so easily lifted out. You could blow through them, making a noise that properly scandalised the other boys. Notoriety is hard currency in primary school.

So began my feud with an undeserving elderly choir master, who never hurt anyone.

This was a prototype of other teacher conflicts to come, wherein I would manifest a misdirected need for attention, boredom, or frustration fuelled by flagrant religious hypocrisy, and they responded in various disinterested ways of underpaid educators, guardians of the precious school, and fickle figureheads of the church.

A few teachers became lifelong North Stars, I hasten to add, and I relate to their frustration when mediocre and worse colleague

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