HEAVEN - If you want to hitch a ride to the heavenly kingdom and back, you'd better get your tickets as soon as possible. The Heaven Department of Tourism announced Monday that 2017 round-trip packages to the pearly gates have been sold out for months, and reservations for 2018 are selling out "very quickly."

Do not delay too much longer if you're hoping to book for next year, especially if you are a teenager or older - cute children with vivid imaginations are being given first crack at the coveted heaven-and-back travel experience, according to the release. Those with a propensity for embellishment and connections in the publishing industry are also getting preferential access to tickets.

The Department also warned that a mere handful of VIP packages are left, which feature meet-and-gr

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