BASICALLY VANCOUVER, BC

In a radical rebranding effort meant to accurately reflect the perceptions of outsiders, the city of Abbotsford, BC, recently passed a motion to rename the community Basically Vancouver.

“We also considered More-or-Less Vancouver and Pretty Much Vancouver, but eventually we settled on the name that most visitors were already calling it,” explained Mayor Heintje Brown. “We’d like to invite everyone to come explore Basically Vancouver this summer! You’ll have a great time!”

Basically Vancouver gets thousands of visitors each year, especially from the Canadian Prairies, who love to tell friends back home that they drove all the way out to B.C. but didn’t quite reach the coast.

“Oh, so you were in B.C. this summer? Did you get to Vancouver?” asked Mrs. Friesen to Mr

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