U.S. — After a lengthy survey of the political landscape, the United States has decided to cancel the 2024 Presidential election and simply draft that Argentinian guy to be America's President.

"It's really a no-brainer," said Pennsylvania native Matthew Stanton. "That Argentinian guy is young, has amazing hair, and eliminated a dozen government agencies on his first day of office. He's the complete package."

The Argentinian man in question is currently serving as the President of Argentina, having been elected to a four-year term. However, that has not dissuaded Americans from deciding to forcibly draft him to become the American President. "There's not much I want from my leaders," said Texas man Bryan Dean. "All I'm looking for is a guy that will ruthlessly shrink the government's pow

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